It’s been so long since I’ve made an entry here. Pain has ket me away but I need to start again. I just had a dream, it is late, 3 in the morning. In this dream I was in a large what seemed to be government building, I had dropped you girls off for some kinds of classes. When I went to the class rooms you were gone, there was then some kind of event at “the big house” my papus house which was somehow in the building? It was very strange and fuzzy. All I knew is I was frantically searching for you. I was flying down stairs, checking rooms and Rosie I had found out and was holding your hand tightly before someone walked up and led you away and it killed me inside, for some reason I felt I’d lost you. I continued searching anyway and I then heard Willow on the other side of an elevator, they operated strangely Ans she came out and said “I know you hate me daddy but..” I stopped her and assured her I do not. Girls I do not hate you, I do not blame you, I never will. At the end of the dream I was holding Willow in my arms a bout to walk out when someone came up to me and took Willow as well. It’s so hard, to not be able to just go to you and tell you I love you and I’m here, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, but you don’t know it… You’ve been told so many lies, chief of which I just walked away from you, didn’t want you. When you are of the age of decision, all you need to do is seek me out and you will find me, and together we will rectify these injustices. Goodnight my little Rosie, my lovely baby Lynn. Good night my little Willow, my lovely Clare blonde hair. I will dream of you again, and wherever you are until we meet I will watch over you and protect you from afar, love always, your real father.
Nathaniel Moran
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